i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize