every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize