I could make wine with my vomit
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
