margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
wanna go halves on a baby?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
