Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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