I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
