I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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