I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize