i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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