So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
