Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
