Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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