The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
