He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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