You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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