But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have aggressive nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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