Do you still have your period?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
