i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
