Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just want to make out with him forever
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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