My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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