So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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