Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
