Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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