I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I have demons in me.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Found your dick twin last night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
