my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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