will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i will never coherently bang her
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Shame is for Republicans.
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