If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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