I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
