I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
