I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
