i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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