How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
