i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
