ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
