So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
