Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
