dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
