hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
