finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
