Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
