can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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