he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
