Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Im part way to drunk.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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