I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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