i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
