It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
