I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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