I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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