She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
