i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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