You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
