you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
