All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
