i don't like sucking hair
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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