Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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