margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
