May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
