I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
