He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
