just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize