thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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