Only a mothe r could love this liver
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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